The Rules are a set of self-help dating advice published by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider in 1995. The Rules are based on the belief that women should not aggressively pursue men, but rather, should encourage the men to pursue them. The rules are as follows:
- Don't call him. The idea is that men should always be the ones to initiate contact. If you call him, it will make him think you're too available and he won't be as interested in you.
- Don't text him first. The same rule applies to texting. If he texts you, respond, but don't initiate the conversation yourself.
- Wait three days to call him back. This rule is one of the most controversial, but it's based on the idea that men want what they can't have. If you call him back too soon, it will make you seem desperate and he won't be as interested in you.
- Always be a little bit late for dates. This rule is meant to make you seem more mysterious and desirable. If you're always on time, it will make you seem too eager and he won't be as interested in you.
- Don't sleep with him on the first date. This rule is based on the belief that men respect women who don't sleep with them on the first date. If you sleep with him too soon, he will think you're easy and he won't be as interested in you.
- Don't be too available. This rule means that you should have a life outside of your relationship. If you're always available to him, it will make you seem too clingy and he won't be as interested in you.
The Rules have been criticized for being sexist and unrealistic. Some people argue that the rules teach women to play games and that they are not a good way to find a healthy relationship. Others argue that the rules are simply a reflection of the way many men think about dating and that they can be effective for some women.
Ultimately, whether or not you follow The Rules is up to you. If you find that they work for you, then great! But if you don't, there are plenty of other dating advice books out there. The most important thing is to find a system that works for you and that helps you to attract the kind of man you want to be with.